Thunder Boomed
by Cheeseburger of Doom
Summary: They fell asleep on the bus, and slept all the way to the last stop. They need to get home, but how?


A/N: This one's a little weird, and hard to classify. It was originally going to be a parody on humor, but morphed into...whatever it is. It was done as a pairing request -- even though the end result doesn't really have them pairing up at the end.  
  
**Thunder Boomed**

Momo wasn't even aware that he was asleep, until he was jolted awake by the sound of someone yelling.

"Just five more minutes," he mumbled. "Five more..."

"Hey, you kids! This is the last stop!"

Momo came to his senses as he realized that no, he was not at home in bed -- he was on the bus, on his way home from a tennis match.

"The last stop?" That wasn't good. He had probably missed his own stop ages ago. He realized that there was someone sleeping on his shoulder. Echizen must have missed his stop, as well.

"You'll have to get off here," the bus driver said. "I'm sorry."

"We'll just catch the next bus in the other direction," Momo said.

"This is the last bus," the bus driver said. "You'll have to wait until morning."

"I'll have to call my mom," Momo sighed.

"You can't do that, either. You kids are stuck here." The bus driver let out a laugh that was nothing short of maniacal, which was followed by a bout of coughing. "Now get off my bus."

Momo knew that something was wrong the second he put his foot on the ground. "I have a bad feeling about this..."

"Che, you're just scared because the driver is creepy," Echizen muttered.

"No, I think --" The bus sped away, and Momo watched it go with longing. "He could have taken us back with him. Our parents wouldn't have had to go so far out of their way."

Echizen was looking around. "Where are we, anyway?"

"I don't know. This doesn't look familiar at all."

They were standing at the side of a dark, deserted street. In the distance, they could see a dark, looming mansion, that was probably covered with vines and/or falling apart. Thunder boomed, lightning struck somewhere in the distance, and then the heavens opened up and it began to pour.

"I guess we should go to that house up there and ask to use their phone," Momo said. "That seems to be our only option, since there's nothing else around here."

"Why is there even a bus stop on this street?" Echizen grumbled, as they began their trek. What a crappy day this was turning out to be. He hated being wet...

The two boys jumped as lightning struck and knocked down a tree not too far from them.

Echizen sulked. He also hated being hit by lightning.

Momo looked up at the giant door. It was rather intimidating.

"Um, maybe we should just leave," he said, feeling nervous.

"Baka. Where else can we go?"

"True enough." Momo stood on tiptoe, and managed to reach the knocker. After several moments, the large door creaked open, and they were greeted by what looked like a butler.

"Good evening," he said. "Can I help you?"

"We're lost," Momo said, "And we were wondering if we could use the phone to call our parents."

"Follow me please," the butler said. "You will have to speak with the master." He led them through gloomy hallways into an equally gloomy sitting room. The mansion looked like something out of a bad horror film. Momo's feeling of foreboding increased.

The master of the house was a very tall man, even while sitting, and he was dressed in an antique suit. He was also wearing a cape, had a receding hairline, and his teeth were sharp and pointy.

"Welcome to my home," he said. "Here, have a cookie."

The cookies were blood red and not very appealing, but Momo saw no way that he could refuse and still be polite. Since his parents had raised him to always be polite, he bit into one of them. It proved to be quite tasty, so he helped himself to a few more.

"I'm afraid that our phones are dead, because of this storm," the master of the house said. "However, since I am a generous man, you may both spend the night here."

"Thank you very much!" Momo exclaimed. His bad feeling had faded somewhat, since this nice mad had fed him. What could go wrong when there were tasty cookies involved?

"Igor, show these boys to their rooms," said the master.

"Yes, sir."

Echizen's room was small, smelled like mold, and had about twelve hundred years' worth of dust covering everything, but other than that it was quite cozy. He flopped down onto the bed and fully intended to go to sleep, but before he could do so, the floor opened up and the bed (along with Echizen) started falling into what seemed like an endless void.

"Help me, Momo-sempai!" he screamed, in a surprisingly girly voice. Then, everything went dark.

Momo thought he heard someone call his name, but since he was all alone in a big, empty room, he must have been imagining things.

The bed he'd been given was big enough for about twenty people, and he was a little nervous about actually getting on it. He ended up sleeping on the floor for most of the night, and in the chair for the rest of it.

In the morning, he was awakened by a knock at the door. He opened it to reveal the butler, whom the master had referred to as Igor.

"Was the bed not satisfactory?" Igor asked.

"How did you know I didn't sleep in it?" Momo demanded.

"The covers are not rumpled at all," Igor replied. "Would you care for some breakfast?"

"Sure, but then Echizen and I had better be going."

"Of course, sir."

Igor led Momo into a dining room that was predictably as gloomy as the rest of the house. The master was already there, sipping wine. It seemed a bit early for that, but Momo wasn't about to point that out.

"Good morning," the master said.

"Where's Echizen?" Momo asked. "He's not here already?"

"Igor will bring him along shortly. Did you sleep well?"

"Yes, well enough."

Igor returned, without Echizen. "The young sir said that he isn't feeling well," he said. "He would prefer to remain in bed for the time being."

"Echizen's sick? I'd better go talk to him --"

"No, sit down and eat your breakfast. It's best to leave him alone if he is not well," the master said. "You can go and see him in a little while."

Momo reluctantly sat down. "Are your phones working yet?"

"I'm afraid they aren't."

"I guess Echizen and I will have to take the bus."

"I'm afraid that the buses aren't running today," the master said. "They only come this far a couple of times a week."

"Our parents are going to be worried about us!" Momo exclaimed. "Maybe we should walk, or something..."

"There are many dangerous things out there," the master said. "It is better that you get home a few days late than not at all."

That was a good point. "Then you don't mind us staying here until the phones work again?"

"Of course not. I'm always glad to have company," the master said. There was a strange smirk on his face, but Momo missed it because he was too busy pigging out on breakfast.

"Echizen? Oi, Echizen?" Momo called, as he knocked on the door. "Are you all right?"

"I'm sick," Echizen called back. "Go away."

"The master said we can stay here for a while, at least until we can find a way home," Momo said. "The buses don't' come here every day and their phones still aren't working."

"That's fine. Now go away."

"Fine, if that's the way you want to be, I'll leave," Momo grumbled. What was with the kid today, anyway? Just because he was sick was no reason to be rude!

He wandered the hallways for a while. The master of the house had told him that he was free to go anywhere he liked, except for the north, west, and east wings. Which left the south, except he wasn't supposed to go there either. His search ended up being very short, and he ended up back in his room before long.

Momo was a bit bored. The master had suggested that he should take a nap in the afternoon, since that was what everyone at the mansion did. He was a little tired, since he hadn't slept well the night before, so that seemed like a good idea. He would even get in the bed this time, although it still scared him...

Then he remembered the homework that was in his bag that he had been meaning to do on the bus. Now would be a good time to do it, and that was much more productive that sleeping for the whole day!

"I see that you didn't take my advice," the master of the house said, as Momo sat down at the dinner table.

"Well, I had some homework to do," Momo said. "How can you tell I didn't take a nap? Do I really look that tired?"

"Oh yes, you look exhausted. You should turn in early tonight," the master said.

Momo was becoming a little uneasy with the master's obsession with his sleeping habits. There was something weird going on here...Echizen wouldn't come out of his room and he wouldn't let Momo in, either.

I'm just being paranoid, Momo decided. I'll feel better after I eat.

Diner was delicious, and afterwards, Momo was so stuffed that he felt very, very sleepy. It didn't help that the master was waving something in front of his face and teling him that he felt very, very sleepy. He trudged back to his room, and was about to collapse on the bed -- when he remembered that he wanted to finish reading the book he'd started a couple of days ago. He wasn't really big on reading, but this book was just too good for even Momo to resist! It was very hard to put down. In fact, he spent most of the night reading it, and ended up falling asleep in the chair again.

When Igor came to fetch him in the morning, he looked rather put out. "The master will not be pleased," he said.

"Um. Why?" Momo asked.

"Never mind."

The master was seated in the same place as the previous day. This time he was not smiling. That could have been because his face was covered in very coarse hair. It seemed that he had grown a beard overnight. A beard that covered his entire face, and his hands, too.

"Are you ever going to sleep in your bed?" the master demanded.

"Uh..."

Suddenly, he pounced! Momo found himself being knocked to the floor by...a wolf? Where had that come from? More importantly, how the hell was he going to get away?

Using all the strength he'd built up during tennis training, Momo shoved the wolf away, scrambled to his feet, and ran as fast as he could.

What is really going on here?!

Momo pounded on Echizen's door. In fact, he pounded hard enough to knock it open. Momo was shocked to find that Echizen was not inside.

"Echizen? Where are you?" Momo looked under the mat, and under the small table, and even under the chair -- but Echizen was nowhere in site. He then looked under the bed. He did not find Echizen there, but he did find some sort of strange contraption.

There was something about the beds here. That must have been why the master wanted him to go to sleep on it so badly...so what was it? Where was Echizen?

There was only one way to find out.

Momo sat down on the bed, and found himself falling into an endless void.

"Momo-sempai! Momo-sempai!"

Momo saw the face of an angel when he awoke. Then he realized it was Echizen, and was only a little disappointed. "Where am I?" he asked.

"I don't know. I got onto my bed, and ended up here."

"That makes two of us." In retrospect, getting onto the bed probably hadn't been a very good idea. It would have been better to leave the house and go for help; that way, at least one of them would have been able to escape. Damn. Maybe it would be best not to mention that fact to Echizen.

"How do we get out of here?" Momo wondered aloud.

"I don't think there is a way out. There's nothing here but darkness." Echizen shivered.

"There has to be a way out of here. I'm way too pretty to die," Momo said.

"Baka. What the hell is going on in this house, anyway? Why would there be booby traps in the bed?"

"I don't know. I think the master of the house is a werewolf."

"I would have thought vampire, since he had pointy teeth and all."

"That thought never occurred to me. Still, I'm going with werewolf, since he was really hairy at breakfast this morning."

"Lots of people are hairy if they don't shave."

"Well yeah, but then he turned into a wolf and jumped me."

Echizen paused. "That does sound like a werewolf."

"So do you think he kidnaps boys like us and uses them in experiments and stuff?" Momo asked. He gulped. "Or do you think that maybe he eats them?"

"Probably."

They stared at each other for a few moments. "Let's get the hell out of here."

"I've already looked around for an escape route, but there isn't one!"

"Let me try." Momo groped around in the dark, and while he found several interesting bits of Echizen's anatomy, he did not find an escape route.

"I guess we're just going to rot here," Momo said, despair beginning to take over.

"Momo-sempai, we can't give up --"

A strange howling noise interrupted them.

"Was that your stomach, Momo-sempai?"

"I thought it was yours."

"...no."

"That would indicate that something really nasty is going to start chasing us."

"Indeed."

"Shall we run?"

"...blindly through the dark?"

"Well, as neither of us have a light, I am assuming that's how it will be."

"I guess there's really no other choice. Please, after you."

"No no, after you!"

"No, I insist on --"

"ROOOOOOOAR!"

The two boys screamed, and began to run as fast as their legs would carry them through the darkness. They ran, and ran, and ran...and then Echizen tripped and twisted his ankle.

"Go on without me, Momo-sempai! We can't both get eaten!" Echizen said, bravely.

"No way! I'm not leaving without you! Get on my back."

"Momo-sempai...this really isn't the time or place --"

"Not like that! I meant I would carry you!"

Momo couldn't run as fast while carrying Echizen, but he kept going anyway. He kept going until he thought he was going to collapse. He saw a tunnel of light ahead, finally, and started to feel relieved...

...until he reached the room at the end of the hall, and saw what was within it.

It was the master of the house, wearing a white lab coat. He had bolts in his neck, horns on his forehead, and snakes for hair.

"Welcome to my lair," he said. "You're late, but I'll overlook it just this once. Shall we begin?"

Momo fainted.

When Momo came to, he was chained to a wall. He was also quite naked, which was embarrassing. A quick looked to his left revealed that Echizen was also naked chained to the wall, as well.

"Echizen! Are you all right?"

"I've been better," Echizen admitted.

"Well well, they're finally awake! Now is the time when I reveal my plot," the master of the house said. He was back to his original outfit, and his teeth were bigger and pointier than they had been that first time.

Actually, there was something familiar about him. Momo didn't know why he hadn't noticed before, but he had seen that man somewhere before...

I remember! That guy was the bus driver!

"First, I'm going to remove all your internal organs, and then I'm going to make them into soup. After that, I am going to take your lifeless corpses and --"

Momo felt the need to vomit. So he did. All over the master's head, since he was positioned just --so-- below him.

"You're going to regret doing that," the master said. "Oh yes, you are."

"Don't hurt him!" Echizen cried. "Spare him!"

"No, spare Echizen! He's still so young, and has so much to live for!"

"Baka, you're only a year older than I am!"

"Silence!" the master bellowed. "I'm going to eat both of you, so quit arguing."

Momo peered at the man. Yes, he was the bus driver, but there was still something so familiar about him, even past that. In fact, he looked a little like...

Inui-sempai?

"I'm sure that you both will make lovely ingredients for my latest drink," the master of the house continued. "Igor! Bring me my scalpel!"

"Yes, master."

...and why, exactly, had Momo never noticed that Igor wore a bandana identical to Kaido's?

"Well, Momo-sempai, it looks like this is the end," Echizen said. "It was nice knowing you."

"Wait a minute, Echizen, I think this is all a dream! When we wake up, it will all be over!" Momo exclaimed. "WAKE UP!"

Momo was jolted awake by the voice of the bus driver.

"Hey, kids, this is the last stop," he said.

"Oh no!" Momo exclaimed. "Please, turn around and take us home!"

"Can't do that. Sorry, you'll have to get off."

Momo and Echizen found themselves in the middle of nowhere, staring at a gloomy mansion.

"Let's walk home this time," Momo said.

"I have a better idea." Echizen reached into Momo's bag and pulled out Momo's cell phone. "How about we call our parents this time?"

"I forgot I had that!" Momo exclaimed. "I feel stupid, now. Good thing it was all just a dream." He dialed his home number. Then his eyes widened in fright. "Uh, Echizen? My phone's dead."

They both looked up the street at the gloomy mansion. Thunder boomed, lightning cracked, and then the heavens opened up and poured down on them.

...and Momo woke up to the sound of someone calling his name.

"Oi, Momo! Momo! Echizen! Wake up, we're back at the school!"

Momo opened his eyes, and saw that he was surrounded by the rest of the tennis team. "What?"

"We're back at the school!" Kawamura repeated. "Are you two okay? You wouldn't wake up."

"We're fine," Momo replied. "I was just having a weird dream, that's all."

Kawamura got off the bus. Momo and Echizen regarded each other with serious looks.

"...did you dream the same thing I did?" Momo asked.

"If your dream was about Inui-sempai trying to eat us, then yes."

"You dreamed about me eating you? Ii data," Inui mumbled. Momo and Echizen shrieked.

"I--Inui-sempai," Momo said, gulping. "You don't really want to eat us, do you?"

"Of course not," Inui replied. He smiled. His teeth were sharp and pointy.

Thunder boomed, lightning struck...


End file.
